epic fail, it’s what’s for dinner (again)

Here’s another compilation of the underworld’s dumbest. I can’t get enough of these.

I think my favorites are the guy about a minute and a half in who “lends” the clerk a crucial piece of equipment, and the wannabe baseball pitcher about five minutes in. That guy has one hell of an arm. Not much of a brain, though. The whole incident reminded me of one of these. I had one when I was a kid. I earned it by selling a buttload of raffle tickets for the Valley Little League in Syracuse, NY. Stupid me, I should’ve just smashed a store window and stolen one. Piece of cake, right?

the health food heist

mastermind

Okay, pop quiz for all you criminal masterminds out there. You’re a fugitive with a felony warrant for your arrest in Oregon. You find yourself in a Walmart in Ada County, Idaho when you get the munchies. About $5 worth of junk food will satisfy your craving. You have $20 in your pocket and another $2000 in your car. What do you do?

That’s a tough question. But not if you’re Stephen Anthony Jacalone. If you were him, you’d know that the correct answer is to shoplift your snack. Which results in your promptly being caught. Then the police are called. They do a quick check for active warrants and , lo and behold, find you have a warrant in Oregon. Oops. Might as well waive extradition. No sense staying in Idaho, where you’re sure to be ridiculed every minute you’re there. The lengths people will go to to save a buck or two…

vajaygun

vajaygun

Now here’s something you (hopefully) don’t see every day. Police in Oklahoma, while searching the recently arrested Christie Dawn Harris (pictured above on the left), found a .22 caliber revolver (pictured above on the right) hidden in her vagina. The gun was loaded with three live rounds. Why was she hiding the gun in her vagina? Because she couldn’t use her butt crack, as it was filled with baggies of methamphetamine.

A few things come to mind here:

1. Where did she get ammo. I’ve been having a helluva time finding rounds for my .22.

2. I hope she was using Remington ammo. Doing so would reduce the chances of accidentally shooting herself.

3. As bad as this sounds, at least it was a small gun. I mean, it’s not like she was hiding Bullet Tooth Tony’s Desert Eagle .50 up there.